DFC #154 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
Suddenly Bil's worst fears were confirmed. His two eldest children were indeed Scanners and a show-down was afoot.--anon
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I run 10 miles a day and what happens? My chest loses size and my stomach stays fat. This sucks.--Yakko
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Quick scram! Daddy's found out we invested in "Whitewater" commodities futures.--Hank The Hoser
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Remember, A Black man carjacked the minivan, strapped PJ in and rolled it into the lake, or else we're facing the death penalty.--Mad Mike
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I think we've gone too far. He didn't notice when we sold the furniture for drug money, but sooner or later he's gonna notice that Thel's missing.--The 4-Star Pope
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In your DREAMS, you melon-headed freak!! Daddy said his sole heir is going to be the one who can go the longest without a drink after chugging a bottle of Tabasco, and it's goddamn well going to be ME!!--The 4-Star Pope
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So NOW do you think he'll see we're crashing into the sun?--The Smoking Mirror
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Those sudden attacks of projectile morning sickness will continue untill you come up with money for abortion.--Zebra
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DANG! Bless you!--Doc Evil
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Snickersnag! Danglespit!--Doc Evil
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Shit, but he must have been horny! He covered us with jizz from fifteen feet!--The Lawyer
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I think we made it okay. Next time you sell dope to a narc, leave me the hell out of it, okay?--The Lawyer
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No Billy, it's Daddy's turn. He's nicer than you anyways - he always spreads newspaper on the carpet so I don't get rug burns...--Verneaux
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Jeez, you'd think the old bastard could at least draw an open window or an air conditioner!--The Most Rev. Holy-Oley
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I wish dad would stop giving us "swirlies".--Incoherency
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Damn, he's using it. Where else can we drink from a toilet?--Picante123
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After an hour of no-holds barred combat Billy prepared to deliver the finishing blow.--Wha.?
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I think they poisoned us. See how the fleas are jumping off of us?--Schickelgruber
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Gawd, I wish Dad would draw a door to the bathroom!--Mike
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I hate it when daddy uses his super telekenetic powers to squeeze our heads like lemons.--anon
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You were right Jeffy...I shoulda never tried to help deliver a calf using my teeth.--Dain Bread
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I wish he'd hurry up and get off the crapper!! I gotta pee so bad it's comin' out of my head!--Dain Bread
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I can't hack this cold turkey shit - we gotta score some smack! It's your turn to blow the old man for the 20 bucks!--Schickelgruber
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Shit -- we walk down the hallway an' we're drenched!! What do you think it would take to get Daddy to draw us thinner?--Vice Pope Doug
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I wish Daddy would quit melting us with his heat vision.--Mike Smith
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Jiminy! I knew dad was a legend on the can, but I've never noticed such a change in the humidity before--Gil Gerard
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The annual Keane Spit Relay commenced...--Spastic Colon
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OK, well, as much as I'm disgusted by that, let's hand it to him: a twenty-foot shot from one plug of Red Man. And right when I had my mouth open, too!--Rotter
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Yeah, well, it was bound to happen. We're wearing red shirts, we were standing by the curb, and we were drawn by Bil...--Rotter
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Uh-oh, he's still watching. Remember, if we act like we liked it and aren't humiliated, he won't do it again.--Anastasia
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