DFC #24 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
"Jeez, Keane...if you're going to draw a SWINGSET, some GROUND would be nice. What the heck is holding this thing up, anyway?"--Wes Flinn
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How the HELL did I get 100 feet in the air?--Rick S.
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What's this ride called again? A "trebuchet"? What exactly is a >CHONK!< AAAAIIIEEEEEeeeee----..........*!--Andy Ihnatko
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No, officer...your parents have to love you to push you on the swings. Mostly, I just come here to sit, think, and cry.--Andy Ihnatko
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Aw, Daddeeee! New rule! We both go potty before we leave the house!--Andy Ihnatko
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Yeah...me too. Every Saturday we drive two hours to a new playground, he plops me on the swings next to another kid, pushes me about four times and then he goes into the woods with another Daddy to "talk sports." Shhh...they're coming back!--Andy Ihnatko
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Is that my shadow or a hole in the ground? Come to think of it, where the hell is the horizion?--anon
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"But it FEELS like a potty!"--RBByrnes
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...and as the school erupted in flame, Billy gasped. His wish came true. There wouldn't be school tomorrow after all. There wouldn't be school for a long, long time.--Felix W.
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My name is Billy, and I'm on my magical, self-propelled, flying swing that my super-rich daddy, cartoonist Bil Keane bought me!--Rob Middleton
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You mean that geeky guy with the glasses? God no. My Dad's...um...well, he's in prison.--Andy Ihnatko
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Oh oh. Dad's haggling with the coke dealer again!--zazu
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"Please don't drop me into The Pit. I'll be good!"--Mr. Clean
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"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? I could swear you was talkin' to me! There's no one else here, so you must be talkin' to me!--anon
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Dad, these last class airplane seats suck.--Tyrant
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Dolly - you tricked me! There's no toilet paper here!--PG
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Holy Shit! I'm not casting a shadow! You know what that means!--anon
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Holy shit, I must be at 15,000 feet!--jake
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Look! I can turn my head more than 360 degrees around. Maybe I shouldn't have peed in the holy water.--anon
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Yeah, the swing is fun, but it still bothers me how the whole Iran-Contra thing just got swept under the rug.--panicboy
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Oops! That one felt kinda wet.--comic mercenary
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What does "Shit a brick" mean?--anon
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I need a new shadow. The old one can't keep up.--Turtle
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"Mommy and Daddy seem to enjoy being 'Swingers', but frankly I just don't understand the thrill."--John Boy
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Oh Christ. Dad's arguing with one of those "Far Side" cows again!--zazu
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Damn, why didn't I see this thing was attached to a freaking flying saucer?--!
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Dolly said "Go ahead, eat this mushroom I found," and now I'm 3,000 feet up in the clouds, my body doesn't cast a shadow, and I'm getting splinters up my ass.--matt
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What the hell--? Aw, Christ, I'm in the DFC again. Why is it always me? Why not Billy, or that worthless fuckin' mutt ?--Craig
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Clouds? Clouds?! I'm on a friggin' swing, why the hell am I in the clouds?!--Roy Olsen
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Gee, when I try not to think about the bird carcasses and various debris hitting me in the face, this is almost kind of fun. I could learn to enjoy being tied to Daddy's private jet. --Kenny Loggins
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Hey, I can see that lame "where-I-went-today-map" from up here!!--Zac Beverage
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"Andy has a lot of free time on his hands?" Of course he does. Hell, in two hours this morning he made more dough writing than you made all week working in that office. Hey, isn't your 20-minute lunch break almost over?--Andy Ihnatko
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So I'm just supposed to wait till Bill draws in the ground before I can get off huh? Thats just great. Thats just fucking superb.--anon
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When Grandpa went to heaven, he got angel wings and a harp. I get a fucking swingset?--anon
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Oh christ it's that DFC camera again! Leave me the fuck alone, will ya!--zazu
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Y'know, I've got this wierd feeling that there _could_ be crosshairs trained on my right hip.--anon
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Welllll then go an' buy some *MORE* ink you lazy fuck! --zazu
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Check out this ass, huh? You know how many times I had to pump this swing to get gluts like these?--Kittycat
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Curse thee, bowels!!!--Nate G
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Goddam bargain-basement alien abductions.--Daniel Krause
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"Okay Red, here's the scoop: I'll gonna let this chopper take me down nice and close. Then maybe I can see first-hand just how bad the fire is on that rig down there." --Danster
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"No, I'm Jeffy. Oh, that's OK, lots of people think I look like Billy."--Roy Johnson
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