DFC #159 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
Wow! I wish mommy had seizures more often!--Moon Rabbit
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For looking back at the forbidden city of Sodom, God turns Thel into a jungle gym.--anon
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Hurray!! Hurray!! P.J.'s back!! See, mom? You drop 'em in the Pet Semetary overnight, and they're back the next day good as new. Aren't you glad we didn't listen to the "ancient Indian curse" bullshit?--The 4-Star Pope
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Barfy!! More drool! A look of sexual hunger on your face! Billy!! Jeffey!! Move those hands closer to paydirt! Bil!! You better be getting all this! That hagged-out bitch Madonna left herself open, and by God, I'M going be the new queen of slut-rock!--The 4-Star Pope
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Playing "Human Slide' with Dad was a bitch. There was always that big bump in the middle. It was more fun with Mommy. I still wish they could have afforded a real slide instead of just slicking Mommy down with cooking oil. I don't think a real slide would have smelled like fried fish , Wild Irish Rose and urine. Oh, wait...come to think of it, they do. ..--Queaser
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Nope. She's still dead.--CrAsH
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Now just snuff out that bit on her head, PJ...THERE. Okay, Mom, it's out. Aside from this little mishap, I'd say your Flaming Turkey Wings were a big success.--MechaGumby
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Come, My fellow Dragon Clan members! Smite that she-devil with our blazing martial arts!--Sgt. Spam
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Only Barfy heard Dolly's scream of vengence as she prepared for the Death Blow, but he barked too late.--Mad Mike
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Barfy, drag the dead horse across the room...OK Peej, now sloooowly slit her eye ball..OK, THAT'S A WRAP!--zazu
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"It's been a flawless routine so far, sparkling... let's watch for the dismount..." -- John Tesh--Charlie Steinhice
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WARNING: You must be 18 or over and be validated by 'Adult Check' before entering the Amature 4-way site!--anon
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The Keane children, being gifted master technictians, easily handled the annual Thel rebuild--Speed R
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Hey Mom! I can see your bald spot from here!--Bongbrain
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Thighs, thighs go away! Send it all to Doris Day!--Doc Evil
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Thel and the kids play ' Nascar Pit Crew '...--Doc Evil
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Thel never realized that once in a while, they replaced her LSD with a PLACEBO hit, then fucked with her mind.--sewer urchin
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Mommy that's third down and 6 yards. You're gonna have to punt him!--Stdheev
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Reminiscent of a fumble at a Packers/49ers game, the Keanes react to a dropped crust of moldy bread.--Christina
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"Trample the corpse, boys! Trample the corpse!"--little daniel jones
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Watch this! A two and a half backward somersault off the butt!--Tazabby
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Top of the Ma, world!--Sir Psycho Sexy
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Fuck, Mom, get some new dryer sheets already.--ChoppingBlock
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Earthquakes aren't so bad. We should have visited California years ago.--ChoppingBlock
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Now I'm Queen of Ass Mountain!--Cheezo
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To commemorate the 4th of July, the Keene family trys to reenact the crossing of the Patomic.--King
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Its no good Billy - the CPR is not working! I'm gonna call an ambulance.--CJ
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You found her keys, Billy? Great! Well, warden, it's been real. The Keane Gang is loose again!--MechaGumby
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And with Dolly's dramatic battle cry of "Kiss the fifties goodbye, wench!", the Keane kids took it on themselves to update their mother's hairstyle.--MechaGumby
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Awright, she's down! I'll get the stash! Barfy, go for the throat! Sic 'em boy, sic 'em!--The Most Rev.HolyOley
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Dol-Ee defeats the Keanian Horde with the help of her vicious battle-mount, Thel Helmet-Head.--Jojo is ill
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Barfy has the sudden realization that all that was standing between him and 35 of prime baby meat was a flimsy Flame-retardant "Barney" blanket sleeper. After that day, the Keanes would frolic no more.--Jojo
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"Bad...BAD BARFY! This is our kill..fair and square."--Jojo
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...and now the final move, "Phoenix Aloft By The Muses." Mommy, Jeffy, wait until Billy swims into position before the lift...remember, we're below the waterline now so we're all holding our breath...keep thinking "Team Synchro Swimming Gold In 2000!"--Rotter
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See, Mommy? We're controlling your seizure without all of that expensive medication!--Rotter
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Come on! You still want to be my agents or not? Say it! "Show Me The Money!" And louder, this time!--Rotter
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This is great! We're gonna be in that Butthole Surfers video for sure!--anon
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Now Barfy faced a real dilemma--which butt to sniff first?--Mork
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Hey! I don't care if you did just do fourteen loads of laundry. We want lunch, and we want it NOW!--TBone
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Must resist oral...PJ jokes! Must resist...!--sigar
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A divorce? Really? Hooray!--Amazing AlKirk
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In a pathetic attempt to hide from the approaching narcs, a stoned Thel, tried to cover her body with her children and pets.--Tazabby
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"Step on a crack," my dyin' ass -- you guys hold her still and I'll break the fucker in one jump.--Grizz
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I claim this butt in the name of the Queen, Uncle Roy!--Bil Keane - Net Cop
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Hey look! Barfy is bleeding from the mouth and eyes! Welcome to America, Ebola Zaire!--Bil Keane - Net Cop
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Barfy! Go get the cops, boy! We'll hold her! Foster home, here we come!!--Ratman
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Family Circus, my ass!! Look at you guys! A simple routine like that and you all fell flat on your faces. Christ! You couldn't even compete with the toddler class down at the Tumbling Academy! --Crusty Booger
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I can't believe she's not dead yet. Rasputin was easier to kill.--Anastasia
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Using Thel as a Twister mat was fun until Bil, clad in a 28 Double-D bra, entered the room and pulled the grenade pin...--The Smoking Mirror
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"Hey, guys! It's too late... Kittycat already claimed Mommy with her scent. I'm going after the bedside table now!"--Ravecavy
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And this, THIS is the mourning they performed when they thought I had sideswiped a tree. Is it any wonder I had to kill them? --Bil Keane: Portrait of a Madman--Psycho Smurf
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While Thelma was blasted out of her gourd on Ecstacy and Bulldog Shellac, the foundlings parodied their favorite scenes from "Seven Days of the Duke."--rawhide
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That's right "mom", the kids are takin' over! BARFY! Make sure Bil doesn't leave the house alive!!--I tried
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