DFC #23 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
Dad said we could bury the body in your backyard.--J-rad
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Stay Grandma! Stay! Good girl! Now roll over! --Tapehead
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Granny, come quick! That senile old bastard has been watching the dog so much that he thinks it's okay to shit in the yard!--Scott Arnett
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Grandma! Granddad's having lower back pain so you're going to have to help Dad with the body.--the plaidman
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I can live without the psychedelic van, but if they forget the LSD then I ain't going.--anon
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I know you're a liar. Your nose just shot out two inches!--Roxanne LeReaux
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Apparently Billy is still game, but after hearing what that stupid old man wanted to see me do with the dog, I had to leave.--Roxanne LeReaux
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SCREW the baby!!! The fireline's advancing 90 yards an hour!--Andy Ihnatko
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I really think Dad has done much better work... This panel is way too crowded, there's no obvious focus for your attention, and too many of us are sticking our butts out!--Rob Middleton
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Daddy and Mommy are busy packing the wagon. PJ, Jeffy and Billy say their goodbyes. And Dolly, God love her, has once again been mesmerized by the sight of something shiny in the distance.--Andy Ihnatko
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Oh, I know you and Gramps will be thinking of me in the coming weeks. I hid an open jar of mayonnaise somewhere in your heating system!--Andy Ihnatko
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Well, lady, Mommy and Daddy have to finish looking the car over first, but offhand I'd say you've got yourself a trade!--Andy Ihnatko
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Like I said before: Charles Schulz' family flies to resorts in his own private plane. We have to pack like sardines in the station wagon and then crash with relatives!--Andy Ihnatko
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O.K., now YOU, get your ass in gear 'n pack us a lunch. I've gotta talk to that LUNK-HEAD you married about the ammo.--anon
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We gotta skip town. The student loan organization found out where daddy lives.--zazu
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Of course we're abandoning you! It wouldn't be the DFC if we didn't!--zazu
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I saw what you and Grandpa were doing last night! Now I will have nightmares for the rest of my life!--K-rad
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If you weren't such a lard ass we've have this shit packed!--Larry Moore
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Eewwwww! Grandma, your colostomy bag just came loose!--Mark T
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Sure, you said, come to crystal lake, you said, it's perfectly safe. They killed that old chainsaw weilding maniac, you said.--anon
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You know, if the station wagon goes above eighty-eight miles an hour, we can travel to other comic panels!--anon
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I know you guys haven't seen little children in a while, but could you at least wait until we get inside. I mean, you already have your hand on PJ's ass and Grandpa is whispering sweet nothings into Billy's ear.--J-rad
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I hate visiting you and this stinkhole! We're never coming back! And you can keep the friggin' kid if it means not smelling your urine at all times of the night!--Nethicus
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Well we're off to car bomb another international airport!--the brian
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Mommy says that the only reason we come here is so you won't write us out of the will!--Nick Helms
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Thanks for taking P.J. The rest of us are going on a "Second Honeymoon."--Nick Helms
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And if you don't cough up your savings by the time we get back, there's gonna be more than one "dead grandpa" in this strip! --Trism
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Look, Gramma, my arm grew back! Still looks kinda stumpy, though.--Greg J
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...and Daddy says if we get lost, we can just follow the roadmap on the back of your legs!--Craig
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Do other cartoonists try to cram 8 people, a full-sized station wagon, and a dog into one tiny litle panel? Noooo, just my dad!--Craig
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Look, I don't know what the hell he's tying to the roof either. But I'm not asking.--Pete B.
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This is the dog Dad said you could have. We were gonna have him put to sleep anyway. He never does anything cute OR funny. Come to think of it, I don't even remember what we NAMED the little shit. --placentahead
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Like, the Mystery Machine's all packed so I guess...ZOINKS! VELMA! You've grown about 2 feet and lost your glasses! And Scoob's been replaced by a mute cocker spaniel! And why is my voice so high-pitched all of a sudden? Wait a minute...what cartoon is this? --placentahead
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How the heck is the Witness Protection Program gonna give US new identities?--anon
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Waco? Where the fuck is Waco?--Jason Riffle
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...okay, I'll run that way, you toss me PJ, and I'll spike him when I get into the end zone!--roony.
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If I don't get sex soon, this dog's in big trouble.--Bluto
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I'm telling you, we have to leave now. The pirates from "Overboard" are gonna be here any second, and they ain't gonna let you alone just 'cause you're holdin' a baby.--anon
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My left hand has been mangled beyond recognition, and all dad can say is "well, that'll build character." You're my last hope, Grandma... please call 911.--anon
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Hey! I just noticed! You're the dumpy troll that Dolly looks like!--RBByrnes
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Cowles told dad that he's been skimping on the backgrounds lately which explains why this panel's so busy!--zazu
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Grandpa's wheezing "call 911!!" at Billy! Does this mean there's gonna be some of those sappy "angel" cartoons soon?--VPD
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Daddy says we're a Free Society of our own now, and we get ta learn how to use grenade launchers to to blow away invading Federal troops! Cool, or what?! --VPD
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daddy's gonna try an' get 440 _pounds_ of cocaine into Canada by tyin' it on top of the car, and cruising in like a nice family. I'm starting to respect the bastard just a little!--VPD
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I said, be a good wench and fetch me my slippers. Gosh, you give women the vote and they think they're in some kind of control.--Ross Duran
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Did you notice how Daddy draws himself as macho but you're just a fat bitch?--
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