DFC #150 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
Her taunting finally brought the evil child to the breaking point. Billy began plotting the solution to two problems: Dolly's incessent companionship and his own entrapment in this damnable bubble for all the world to witness his shame.--Happy the Clown
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You're just mad that Daddy's not taking YOUR temperature.--La
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Yeah, Billy. Hand cupped, wide open, pen wedged deeply between middle and index fingers... no wonder you draw like crap.--Professor Falken
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Excuse me, um, Mr. Gingrich? Most folks think that the Family Circus just sucks. I don't think they want an alternative version to counterbalance the one created by the Big Liberal Media.--Mister Sinister, stealing from the Ok pile
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Pencil schmencil... the Make-A-Wish Foundation gave _me_ a Sega!--A shameless representative of the Sega Corporation
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When the syndicate says your material "doesn't meet their current needs", what they mean is it sucks like a cheerleader. You might as well just start counting on a career in marketing, instead.--Horselover Fat
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I TOLD you the runes were wrong-- and boy, is K'arazel pissed!!!--Tangent
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Remember billy, landing a caption on the stupid list is NOT an honor!--Yakko
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You say you're channeling the spirit of Vincent VanGogh? Looks more like 'Bil VanCrap'.--VanSchickelgruber
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I REALLY wish you'd buy a real pencil sharpener. I'm gettin' tired of gnawin' on the damn things...--Doc Evil
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See that thing behind your elbow? It's called an "eraser". I suggest you use it....A LOT!!!--Tazabby
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"It's time to face facts, Billy. Your work is uninspired, lacking the surrealist glories of a i>Calvin and Hobbes, the sarcastic social commentary of a Doonesbury, or even the tired, albeit sharp, wit of a Garfield. Additionally, your "schtick," that of passing off your artistic ineptitude as the childish scrawlings of a boy not yet on the dark side of eight, is, to be honest, a stretch of the reader's credibility. In short, my sibling, I would recommend another career path before you embark upon the same downward spiral of shame, drugs, and wasted lives that has taken our father. By the way, your head won't deflate to normal size if you puncture it with that pen."--Thomas Wilde
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Don't try to save the damn comic strip! It's dead!--XoLo
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The last time I saw that pen it was in daddy's ass.--Idiotboy
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No, you're leaving yourself wide open for the DFC there too. "Boy, I sure like eating vomit AGAIN!" or some damn thing.--Larry Hastings
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Billy, that's gross! Cartoons depicting our drug use, incest and general depravity will never fly! Who would be sick enough to be interested?? Family values sell, Billy!--Vice Pope Doug
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Bad News: you draw even worse than Daddy. Good News: no doggy-style captions for this cartoon. Yet.--Vice Pope Doug
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Nice try. But that's not what they look like VIRGIN BOY.--ChoppingBlock
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Should I comment on the paradox of a cartoon character drawing a cartoon within a cartoon? His frighteningly pig-nosed, evil-eyed scowl? Dolly's psuedoerotic pose? Ahh, fuck it. "Pull my finger, bitch."--Skywise
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Ha! You're really being generous on those nudes of yourself, aren't you?--The Outsider
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I guess the family curse isn't going to end with Bil after all.--Jojo the Spiv
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Perfect! Now all we need to do is dye your hair black and paint on a little black moustache and Granma will think she's back in the old country!--anon
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I know Spinnwebe needs scans, but your Long Dong Billy pics won't cut it.--Pastor of Muppets
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Guess who just SuperGlued his hand to a pen?? Hmmmmm? C'mon, guess!--Don Spudleone
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As Billy stared into the dark, gaping hole his demented sister called a mouth, it came to him. A pure black panel. No art. No caption. Just the perfect embodiment of bleak pit of despair that was his life.--The 4-Star Pope
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You're wasting your time. Even if "Der Stürmer" needed editorial cartoons, they'd find some Aryan with a normally-shaped head to draw them.--The 4-Star Pope
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That's right, Billy. Keep churning out crap like that and the next time Dad skips town, this strip is MINE!--Charlie Steinhice
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If you're planning on taking over the family business, forget it. I could fingerpaint better cartoons with my eyes closed!--Riff
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Stop trying to draw in stubble, Billy. You're not hitting puberty and you never will.--Riff
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Between my hair and your butt we've got half a horse!--Uncle Maria
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C'mon, do my nude portrait now!! Fathers' Day is tomorrow!--Wendarina
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Now Billy, you do know what happens to little boys who draw themselves a second nostril with a fountain pen, don't you?--Anastasia
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