DFC #194 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
Dad! For Christ's sake, let us in! We drank the Mexican water too! --Jester
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All I can say is, if this is drawn from Bil's real life with his kids, there are some deeeep psychological scars that need healing...--Kurt S.
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Mommy! Daddy! Grandpa's disembodied spirit's back-- and he brought Erma Bombeck!--Mighy Owl
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Ok, mister! Your time is UP!! Get out of there, we got people waiting in line here! Zip it up and make sure you leave the football uniform laid out just the way you found it!--Mo Man
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Bil relaxed and resumed reading the complete works of Emile Zola, the porcelain cool and comforting below his derriere now that the children had eaten every one of the Ex-Lax brownies and he had locked the door. Truly, this was the best April 1st ever.--Orrin Bloquy
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Mom, Mom, quick! Dad's pulling in the driveway! Damn it, Mom, can you answer, or is this one of your ball-gag-and-straps tricks?--Paul Roub
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Mom! Dad! We're not joking this time! Dolly really has passed out!--His Imperial Majesty
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Billy's stirring recreation of the end scene of The Graduate was marred by a bunch of "me-too's" who just had to get into the act.--Anonywuss
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The doomed children naively continue their attempt to gain entry, unaware that behind the door lurks the largest, most vicious Difficult Zone to ever stalk this Earth!--Steevie
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Thel learns too late that kids deprived of their nightly smack get really, really, frantic.--tv's Spatch
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Quietly, Thel and Bil slipped out of the hotel, leaving their life of misery behind.--Larry Hastings
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Mom, Dad, Come quick! You'll laugh your asses off when you see Dolly try and do a push up!--Hugh Jass
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They just bail on us at the end of our bloody enjoyable D.C. vacation?! Fuck 'em. Sally! Room service!--anon
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After having deactivated Robo-Dolly, Billy uses the radioactive powers of his forearms to start melting away the door.--Daniel Lanker
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"Dad! Roy! Dolly's been doing draino again!"--Moorlock
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And Billy saw that there was no door, and so he raised his hands and made one, and it was good.--Azazael
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...And these children told their parents that they hoped they never saw proper perspective again. Remember class, if you wish for something you just might get it.--The Simian
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Hordes of the Badly-Drawn began clawing at the door. The survivors huddled in the basement, praying that the door would hold.--Lord Zombie
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"Come on, Dolly, we don't want to see what they're doing, we just want them to stop it."--anonymouse
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Mom! Dad! STOP!!! Don't you remember what happend last time you guys played 'Spelunker'?? Four is enough, dammit!!!--anon
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Mommy!! Daddy!!! Let us in!! Dolly's already passed out from constipation!!--Kewie
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Mommy, any luck in getting PJ's pennant out of Daddy's you-know-what??! We're getting worried!--kewie
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"Despite the froth at Dolly's mouth and PJ's back condition, our parents would stay disappeared in their bedroom doing God knows what with the pets." -William Keane Jr., "Praying For Death"--Colin
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Get us out of here! Somebody left the gas on! Dolly's already passed out, and P.J.'s looking kinda woozy!--Doctor Radium
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Dolly, her spirit finally broken, collapsed in tears. "I can't be related to these losers," she thought. All the dumbshits had to do was push...--Pastor of Muppets
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They couldn't break down the door to the Legion of Doom's headquarters- Super Vibrato-Jeffy, Plasto-Dolly, and PJ the Mole Man were ineffective. Billy had to try his "shoot little lines from my hands when I shake'em" powers.--Samuel Clemens
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"Bomb shelter only big enough for two" my ass!! Let us in!!--Riff
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"Miss Johnson, please! Michael's gonna get married and even April is taller than we are! For Better or For Worse, let us into your strip! For the Love of God! "--phonsux
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I'm keepin' up the same rythym you are Dad! Can I join the band, now?--Riff
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Twenty bucks got you five minutes -- you want some real privacy, slide the damn Visa card under the door!--Vice Pope Doug
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We KNOW somethin' weird is goin' on, Gramma! Mommy only makes noises like that when she's by herself!--Vice Pope Doug
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Kurt Cobain, you come out of that room this instant, do you hear!?--ewhac
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Open up! We need our Ritalin now!--ewhac
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Their screaming, their pounding, their incessant demands... Just a few more minutes in the garage with the car running, and it would all peacefully come to an end...--ewhac
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A scene from the director's cut of Trainspotting.--ewhac
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At least let Dolly out for her insulin shot, you sadistic bastards!--Teratogen
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Mr. Mailman, Help us! Mom and dad went to Hawaii two weeks ago, and we're all outta gruel. Plus, Dolly's starting to decompose. Help!!!--Noise Salad
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Dammit, Bil, I don't *care* if you wanna show Thel the "Keane Monument" one more time! We need to make a beer run, and you've got the damn keys!--Paul "Thirsty" Reed
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HELP! Grandma's off her medication again!--Anastasia
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Open up in there! I know you're cooking food because I can smell it!!--Don Spudleone
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Thel bet Bil that his moronic kids couldn't get out of a room with a pull door for at least 2 hours. The experiment cost Dolly her life.--anon
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