DFC #344 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
No no no, PJ! Remember, we're Christian Scientists. If we pray hard enough, the wagon will move itself!--Nethicus
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You know, mom, I knew you shouldn't have locked P.J. in that hot car for several days.--toade
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Look, I know it's frustrating to spend 30 years at the same age, PJ, but look at it this way: at least you're young enough that you don't get sappy dialog assigned to you.--Lost in Erehwon
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Let's see; crappy seats, no lights, no horn, no brakes and it ain't going anywhere fast. Throw in a pair of fuzzy dice and it'll be just like Gran'ma's Chevette.--bobo
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The closest Bil Keane ever got to his idol, John Wayne: he managed to put at least one wagon in a circle.--Gen. Sedgwick
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Hired! You obviously have what it takes to be a Project Manager!--Vice Pope Doug
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We've secretly replaced the Keane's '85 K-Car with a Radio Flyer wagon. Let's see if anybody notices the improvement.--bobo
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"All right! You're ready, save it, man, save it. Now, let's go see that little shit Van Pelt about that twenty he owes me."--hangtownman
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No, no, no! You rub it up and down! Up and down! Jeez, no wonder Dad was so pissy this morning.--couldn't help myself
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Pop quiz, hot shot-- a melonheaded crack baby has commandeered your Radio Flyer and is demanding to be breast-fed by a giraffed-neck dyke. What do you do? What do you do? --agm
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Easy there, runt! Unlike Mom and Dad, the wagon may not have that strong a tongue!--Gen. Sedgwick
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"That's it," cheered Jeffy, "keep this up in front of the Veteran's Board, and we'll get enough post-war-traumatic-syndrome prescription drugs to make a killing in the elementary school black market."--Stealth
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Jeffy coached PJ on the intricacies of playground bullyhood.--Stealth
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The only thing you're going to move by doing that is your bowels.--R.J.M.
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If you violate conservation of momentum, I'll tell!--The Plague
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You idiot! This is not push technology!--The Plague
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"But this IS fair, P.J. You pulled me around the neighborhood for half an hour. And now you can pull yourself around for half an hour. What could be fairer than that?"--El Kabong
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"...and now the wheel! The wheel called you a pathetic little drip, Peej!"--Eugene's a Nerd
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"Welcome back, brave explorer... I told ya, featureless void."--Deiphage
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Budget constrictions led to the eventual failure of "Knight Rider: The Next Generation."--Deiphage
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"Hey, PJ, I know where I can get some really cool flags for that..."-- Looseleaf
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Practiceing that way wont help, Dolly dosn't even have a neck!--Magikaldragon
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"Um...Superbaby? Psst. Superbaby. Don't take this wrong, but..ah..you don't need to change the course of the wagon. It's not moving." And, thus was born the Superman-Lex Luthor rivalry.--Paul "Great Krypton!" Reed
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...And should we ever get the bastard angry...oh, god, it was horrible. He'd draw all kinds of shit on us just to teach us a lesson. One time he put a tail on Peej, made his eyes bleed and fused him to the wagon for not eating all his peas. I nearly puked when I first saw it." Arnold "Jeffy" Keane, Rings of Fire--Jamey Powell
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Umm, let me guess... Yeah! You're the Iwo Jima Memorial!--Reeky Ricardo
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And when you've finished doing that, I've got a rope I want you to push.--myke
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Shit, son, your problem's in the fuel system! You could just replace the hose, but I'd go with a four-barrel Holly and get me some Edelbrock intakes....--phil
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Jeffy tried to warn him, but PJ didn't notice Dolly's Junior Miss Wagon Bomb attached to the wheel until it was too late.--phil
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Shit, PJ, guess who hasn't taken his Ritalin today?--phil
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"It's not the handle's fault! You've just got oval wheels."--Mycroft
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Faster, Peej! Faster! To Mexico--and freedom, sweet freedom! Aw, hell--you won't even make it to the 7-11, you pathetic melonhead.--Coalcracker
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Open your eyes, you stupid bastard! You're ruining the gag -- this is my finger!--Gen. Sedgwick
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Look out PJ! The guy who draws 'Nancy' just got ahold of me! I look like that fag Sluggo! Run!--Marlboro
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I don't care what daddy calls this exercise, I think it's evil!--Riff
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"Adjective on noun, mate!" --Westur the Unspeakable (Deeply ashamed)
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PJ's training for the Monster Truck Pull faced technical difficulties from the start.-- Looseleaf
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"I was pretty suprised the day PJ built a wagon out of a cake pan, a crowbar, and four mismatched saucers. I was completely floored when he used it to qualify fourth in the Daytona 500." -- From I.Q. on You, Mate! Biography of PJ Keane, Boy Genius--Westur the Unspeakable
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Man - looks like Dad's not the only one who gets the shakes when he's on the wagon ...--Riff
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"No, no. A Hurst shifter has a forward angle to it. Darn it, Peej, you know nothing about performance transmissions."--twomp
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"It's no use, P.J.--there's no way you can overcome this strip's inertia!"--Desscribe
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"Hey, c'mon. It happens to all of us. Remember Billy's preemo columbian flake? How about Dolly's Ecstacy? If it's one thing dad can do, it's finding a hiding place for your stash."--twomp
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That's very good PJ... now remember... when ever you hear Dolly's voice you will feel the same urge... I will count to ten and you will awaken!--dannyboy
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Peej's seizures are way more entertaining in a wagon!--Dead Parrot
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