DFC #4 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
"Did you set up the car so it would like an accident?" "Hey, what am I? An amateur?"--Kelvin Cabrera-Castellar
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"Don't tell Daddy about the other man coming over tonight." "Well, then you better raise my allowance."--Ray Gaskill
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"Daddy's having his midlife crisis again, and it's all your fault." "My fault? You're the one who gave him that copy of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas for Christmas."--Paul T. Riddell
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"Your father needs some time alone to sort things out" "OK, but why is he packing *YOUR* underwear?"--anon
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"Now Jeffy. We're going to-" "Let me guess. We're moving again cause' of those mean FBI men, right?"--An-onion
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"He really thinks he can win this time!"
"Aw, Mom! Why does Dad have to fly to every Dilbert Look-Alike Contest he hears about?"--Andy Ihnatko
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"Honey, Daddy's leaving because he never gave Mommy an orgasm in 15 years." "That's funny, he gave ME three."--Frenchy
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"Now did you put our little surprise in daddy's suitcase?" "Sure did, mom. Daddy won't find that loaded pistol until airport security does!"--Nethicus
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"Daddy's leaving because he can't stand the sight of you." "Sight of me? How can he seen anything through those coke bottles?"--anon
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"No, you can't go along with Daddy." "But he already put P.J. in there!"--anon
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"While Daddy's gone on business, you're the man of the house." "Okay. Get me a beer, then I'll slap you around a little."--Bruce Gabrielle
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"I asked you a question young man!" "Hey, I don't know who the hell he is, he just walked in and started unpacking."--NO CARRIER
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"Did you find out why your father's leaving?" "Yeah...he was looking for the KY-Jelly in my room the other day and found your lingerie under my bed."--Dave
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"The cartel's limo is waiting." "Daddy said he's almost ready, most of the cocaine is already packed."--Roxanne LeReaux
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"Is it done?" "The detonator is set for 15000 feet. Just make sure he buys plenty of flight insurance at the airport."--anon
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"Did you get the C-4?" "Sorry mom, all I could find was dynamite."--John Moore4
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"I think your father misplaced his weed." "Don't worry mom, I got it!"--anon
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"Now you're sure you took out all those little square packets?" "Damn, mom, I know what a rubber looks like."--DrBill
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"Your father's leaving for the weekend." "Ever notice how your hair looks like one of those helmets on 'The Jetsons'?"--anon
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"Daddy has to pay for what he did to my haircut." "Don't forget the time he took the hammer and made all these bumps on my head!"--anon
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"Tale as old as time..." "Song as old as rhyme..." "Beauty and the Dork."--anon
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"He says the sex wasn't good enough." "That's funny... that's the same line Dolly used on me!"--anon
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"Daddy is getting an operation so we won't have any more children." "Give it a rest Mom. Daddy is the only one who actually still believes he fathered any of us."--Blake
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"Nice going mister, you had to shoot off your big mouth." "ME? Listen bitch, you're the one who had to leave a hicky on my belly."--matt
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"Did you find it?" "Yeah, Mom. He's got your chin in his shaving kit."--Roy Olsen
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"Daddy's going away for awhile to be alone and find himself." "Alone? Then why's Uncle Roy waiting for him in that car around the corner?"--anon
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"Daddy's friends from the CIA need him for a 'job'." "Oh, so he took Kennedy out after all, eh?"--Paul T. Riddell
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"What's that white stuff in those bags?" "It's sugar Jeffy--damn good sugar."--Josh
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"Why isn't Billy the man of the house now?" "Well, Daddy's taking him to the Bad Cartoonists Convention, to encourage him in the family business."--Trism
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