DFC #286 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
Jeffy frowned. Yes, the "Jim Carrey's Talking Butt" joke was always funny, but part of him longed for...something more.--L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg
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While Dolly performed her piece, Jeffy took the pause to think: Good on who, exactly?--Thany
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'Tastes like chicken.' ? You can do better than that Jeffy!--Operative Slug
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Mo-o-o-o-om! Tell Jeffy not to eat his ear wax unless he's got enough for everyone!--The Outsider
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As Dolly angrily called for her mom, Jeffy was puzzled. In the storybook the boy who stuck his finger in the dike was a hero.--Gen. Sedgwick
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Jeffy had always secretly admired his sister's workstrong arms and broad shoulders, but couldn't stop wondering why he'd gotten the childbearing hips. Somehow, pictures of Bil and Thel at Woodstock and chromosomal aberrations came to mind.--p!
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Actually, the Richard Gere/Gerbil urban legend began its life from a very real incident that took place in the Keane household in the Spring of '85.--Eat Yerself Fitter
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Though Dolly stared in shock, Jeffy appreciated the artistry involved in PJ's self immolation.--jedi mind trip
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That's all the evidence I need, thought Jeffy to himself. I'll never eat Olestra again.--Larry Hastings
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As Dolly's impossibly full and resonant belch went on and on, Jeffy tried desperately to hold down enough beer foam for a shot at the title.--Norm DePlume
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And now Number One on the Top Ten List of reasons not to swallow a Brillo pad: 'Roid Rage.--anon
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Oh bugger Sir Geoffy, I've got me finger stuck in me bum! From the British mirror site of Spinnwebe.--Doc Evil
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"It's true", thought Jeffy, "The diuretic properties of coffee are indeed disturbing. I'm sticking to crystal meth".--Vice Pope Doug
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"Mom. Tell Jeffy, today I get to be LORD OF THE DANCE!"--Flatly on you Mate
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Jeffy stopped and bit his finger in envy. Dolly was winning the head-inflation contest, for once.--Dan Jones
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"Mommy! If I tug hard enough, you can see my spleen!"--Frod
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No, dumbass, boys can't be figureheads. When a whaler's been at sea for months, he wants something with tits to stare at! Now go away, I'm practicing.--NaToth
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"Cut!! Dammit, I don't care what his contract says. If he's gonna keep forgetting his lines, I'm outta here. How much brainpower does it take to remember the word "p'sghetti" anyway?"--Podbeing
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Jeffy was silently proud of Dolly's accomplishment: normally, she needed both hands and a flashlight.--Rotter
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Mom? Jeffy's gone back into that catatonic escape from reality thing again. Can I be the one to hook him up to ol' Mr. Sparky this time?--Hideo Spanner
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Bil's was one of the many rejected contributions to what later became the famous 'diarrhea rabbit/constipation turtle' advertising campaign.--Opti
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C'mon Jeffy! Aerobisize!--Anastasia
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If you dare do to me what you're thinking, the next thing that will be good on you will be my fist.--Anastasia
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Following his ill-timed goose of his sister, the patient pondered the word she had spoken... "Orchidectomy," he thought. What did flowers have to do with a childish prank? -- Interesting ER Traumas, 3rd Edition--zen
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QUESTION 3: Kinematics, Vectors and Momentum. Dolly is sliding on an infinite, frictionless plane at 3 m/s at an angle of 30 degrees. How hard will she strike Jeffy, and what will his resulting speed and direction be (assuming a mass of 30kg)? --Joe
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As Dolly continues to cluck like a chicken, Jeffy begins pondering more sinister uses for the Hypno-Bacon. (I know this is impossible zone, but it's so perfect!)--Vitamin Tom
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"Thel! Would you please remind Jeffy that tapeworms are NOT edible?"--ThinkAndDo
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Damn! That's the last time I play "pull my finger" after a Mexican dinner!--anon
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Jeffy was puzzled by the anatomical miracle which allowed Dolly to touch her butt. He couldn't even reach his pockets.--Peon
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