DFC #117 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
O.K. Dad, one more time. But then it's your turn to be the surfboard.--Jadie
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"Bugger all this 'develop lungs' shit: I'm going back to Atlantis."--Paul T. Riddell
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"...so, like every molecule of water could be a little miniature universe, see? And like WE might be just a little molecule in somebody ELSE's universe. Wow! We might even be under a microscope right now!--patrik
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PJ was on the inner tube too, Dad--Pam S.
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Think we shoulda gotten on that ark?--Monkey
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Dad, how long do we have to pound sand before we reach enlightenment?--alice
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Ok, so Mom will make us sleep in the garage for a week, but you gotta admit having those front row seats when they blew up the dead whale was AWESOME!!!--Jalapeno Babe
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Let this be a lesson to you, brainiac. Next time, you're chasing renagade slaves and their god to parts the Red Sea for them and it happens, DON'T go running across the sea floor after'em! --Dark Banana
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I want to have sex with you. Right now, right here in the stupid list.--anon
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Whew! Do you really think three cinder blocks will keep her down? --a.holter
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Sand Crab,eh? well, if that "Sand Crab" pinches my ass one more time, I'm gonna crush his little sand crab nuts. Capeesh?--zazu
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I think we finally lost that dotted line.--Greg J
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And mommy says we will eventually evolve into humans!--Daniel Krause
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Boy, that Senator Gandy sure gets pissed when you call him "Gopher"!--zazu
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Boy, it's a good thing that shark broke its teeth on Mom's hair, or we'd all be goners!--Kurt L.
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Was that another 747 or just the tide coming in?--anon
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"Bless You."--The Sandman
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Look, you made the whole family swim for 3 hours straight...Dolly and PJ got sucked down in the undertow...Mom got eaten by a shark, Jeffy smashed his head wide open on a rock, and we still didn't find your goddamn glasses out there. You'll just have to buy another pair!--anon
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Dad, it's not that I don't appreciate the extra effort you put into this exquisite background, but maybe next time you could draw us some nipples instead.--Moonraiser
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...well, Mom wouldn't give me the 9-iron, so I used the sand wedge. Of course I knocked it RIGHT in the toilet bowl. Then, when I went to fish it out, that bastard Jeffy flushed the toilet. That's how I got here. What the hell happened to YOU?!--Dave the Fave
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It feels like a crab is pinching your back? Let me see...nope, no crab there. Just another syringe. --Tazabby
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I've got enough sand up my ass to start a full-size ant farm ... how 'bout you?--Vice Pope Doug
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"Except for the body parts and pieces of TWA planes washing ashore, I like swimming in the Long Island Sound."--Bobo the Wonder Dog
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Dad, remind me: if your only purpose in this strip is to stare in dull surprise at the things we say, why haven't we replaced you with a bale of hay yet?--Rotter
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Aw, DAMN!!! We bet a guy a million dollars that we can long-jump the English Channel...and we land five fucking feet short?!?--Rotter
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Oh, cheer up. Mom can be replaced. Dolly on the other hand, was my main source of income.--Anastasia
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How come there's only ever background when you're in the cartoon?--Anastasia
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C'mon Dad, this is Jamaica. If we sit here long enough, a dealer will just snorkel up to us.--Anastasia
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I'm used to the homo captions. It's those tragically hip, Gen-X Love Boat and Gilligan's Island references that are driving me up the fuckin' wall!--zazu
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Dad, you've got to get this past you! Are you going to look like that at every guy who looks like Roy?--Dofang
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Now I know why they call this "Fire Island." Did you see the hose on that guy?--Dofang
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Boy, I still can't believe that Shelley Winters got her fat ass through that AC vent!--zazu
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..used condoms...brokrn hypodermic needles.....used tampons...empty crack vials...green algae..This is just like our bathroom back home!--zazu
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I love comics... just think, when you actually draw up this scene you'll look like a buffed hunk instead of a sunken-chested geriatric wreck, and I'll be a kid again... no lesions, no needle marks... and with hair! Draw lots of hair! Hee hee hee...--Horselover Fat
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This isn't real Bil, this is a dream. You came home hammered last night and you're wetting the bed.--Jojo the Spiv
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Bil, I must say I'm impressed. I didn't think it was possible to get shipwrecked in Denver!--Westur the Unspeakable
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After a long, grueling week of hardcore sex, crimes against nature, serious drugs an' general mayhem -- it feels fucking awesome to just kick back, y'know?--Vice Pope Doug
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Forget it, dad. I think that lifeguard was serious when he said he wasn't going to give you any more mouth-to-mouth.--Milo Bloom
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Naw, man, those breasts were more out to here...--Milo Bloom
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Next time, we're just going to give the fucking kittens away, alright?!--Matthew Jordan
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That was fun...but I think you should've held onto P.J. just a little tighter.--Tazabby
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I'm tellin' ya Craig, this lazing about at the beach on Labor Day Weekend is great, but do you have any idea how many captions we'll have to screen when we get back to the DFC on Tuesday?--paTRICK heSTER
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All I did was pinch Kathie Lee's ass! Those Carnival Cruise people got no sense of humor!--kel
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...so Jeffy and me figure if we keep it up all day, then eventually the waves hafta turn yellow! Wanna come help?--kel
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Look, dad, if I want you to save me from this hell I'm living, I'll ask you, okay? --slacker
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WHEW! I can't believe you've been sitting in the surf for over half and hour and you still smell like stale beer.--GRIM!!!
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Jesus, Dad! I'm trying to impress the bettys, and you have to sit right next to me, pitching a tent. Why don't you go take a swim 'til the swelling subsides.--Diggit
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311 waiting?! Jesus, I didn't think that many people watch "Baywatch"!--Riff
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