DFC #112 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
A home Study Aviation course? I give it three weeks before it ends up in the back of the closet with the Foley/Belsaw Blade Re-sharpening course, the Make big Bucks on The Internet start-up package and my old, tangled up slinkies.--zazu
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Well dad, the repo man just came for the car, and mom's upstairs burning all your wedding photos. But hey, you made it to LEVEL TWELVE, and that makes it all OK!--Kurt L.
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Yep, it's a BIG fire, alright. Right here in the house. Gotta run for our lives now... Hello? Dad! BIG, BIG FIRE, I said... Hey! FIRE! BURN! DEAD! YOU! ...oh, hell with it. I'll be going now.--Kurt L.
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..and remember. Every time you crash you lose a finger, got that?--zazu
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The power grid is on level forty-two...but only after to find the six secret scarab keys...fuck it, dad...your 'bout as dim as mid-night mass in a blackout!--Hopeless
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Mommy says to tell you that if you don't stop playing "the devil's machine" she's going to commit a mortal sin and "suck off the Mitchell boy". Should I go tell her to shove it up her ass...again?--Blaine C
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Look, I know her new hairstyle is a total turn-off, but you can't hide behind the Sega addiction anymore. Get your ass up there and perform your husbandly duties!--Dave the Fave
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Tell me again how you beat all your frat brothers at Pong.--Joe Blow
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If you win this one too, my pants will join my shirt in the corner. no pressure, dad, nooooo presssure.--Yakko
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Just remember, if I win, you use zip-a-tone shading in any panels featuring me from now on, got it?--The Outsider
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Now you see how crazy this idea is? That accupuncture in your face hasn't increased your reflexes at all.--Ad Hominem
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Jeffy, get in here! 'Nam flashback! This is gonna rock!--Greg J
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Your 4 hours are up. Congratulations, Mr. Keane! You've completed the Advanced Commercial Airliner Pilot course here at ValuJet, and we'll have up in a cockpit as soon as scrape up enough cash to bribe the FAA into letting us fly again.--El Vez
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You're not fooling anyone Pops; you didn't have a clue what a ThrustMaster was when you bought it, did you?--Rusty Russell
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You fool! You can not best your master. Now you will suffer the wraith of midget-fu!--Cine
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Great manual dexterity, Pop. You must be a wild man in the sack.--Zenmaster
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Forget it Dad. This is "The Lord of the Flies" video game. The plane has to go down.--Anastasia
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Since you've been at it for 12 hours now, I think it's only fair to tell you. This is only the demo. The controllers aren't plugged in.--Anastasia
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I told you so! It's harder, but playing this game on acid is a TOTAL rush! isn't it?--the wonder cheese
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Um, Dad, that's a documentary on the Battle of Britain. I think perhaps you've been sitting here a little too long...--brandt
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Sure, Dad, yesterday Jeffy has to hang out in a featureless void all day, and today you get not only a stool, a TV, and a Nintendo but walls _and_ perspective? I think we need to have a talk about priorities here.--brandt
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Ever since you got that THING the romance has totally gone out of our relationship! Fer chrissakes, couldn't you at least take me to a gladiator movie once in awhile or something?!--kafka
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Aw c'mon dad, give it a rest! Baywatch is on in 5 minutes and I don't wanna miss seein' Pamela Anderson jogging down the beach....you know...bouncey! bouncey! bouncey!--kafka
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I don't care what the rules say, Daddy, it's a lot more fun when you strafe the POW camps.--anon
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Got a hold of Jeffy's speed, huh?--Tazabby
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Should I call your boss and tell him you'll be out with a splitting headache again? --Tazabby
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Is this what Mom meant by your performance anxiety?--crusty
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Wow, Dad, you don't move you hand that fast even when you're with Uncle Roy!--Don Spudleone
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The first game's free. After that it's 3 bucks a game, Got it?--zazu
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But you don't think it's the slightest bit odd that your editor Fedexed over this $800 Sega system a day after you told him about your carpal tunnel syndrome?--Rotter
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Well, well, well! If it isn't Sonic the Hedgehog vs Chronic the Hemp Hog!--paTRICK heSTER
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Okay, so maybe I tweaked the initialization scripts a little. You don't think I'd bet so much without knowin' I'd win, did you??--Vice Pope Doug
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.. and I wired the TV's high voltage supply to the chassis. Makes for a more interesting "feel", I think.--not elsie
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Okay, we have the uniforms .... the flight simulator training .... when do we get to usher in your New World Order by actually killin' some people an' blowin' stuff up?--Vice Pope Doug
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His dad hogged the Sega(tm) for 10 straight hours after Billy told him about the secret "hot, hard, and totally nude" pic of Val Kilmer to be found on level five.--not elsie
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Generic DFC Caption #6 - I'd show you how to do that if you hadn't cut off my right arm.--Yakko
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Goddamn dad, so far all you've managed to hit is civilians and friendly villages. Are you sure you flew one of those during Vietnam?--Yakko
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You know dad, it may help plugging the controllers into the Nintendo, rather than the TV. Just a suggestion.--Cheezo
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Giving the 'ole left hand a workout today, eh Dad?--ferret
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Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt, but I really need to point out that you have now drawn three completely different TV sets in the last week. And what's with the wall color? Did someone get a new charcoal pencil for xmas?--ferret
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