DFC #176 |
![]() |
|
Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
Danny DeVito IS "The Nutty Portable Manger Salesman!"--Skywise
![]()
A brush salesman? A brush salesman? Hey Dad! Some guy who still thinks this is the fifties is here, lookin to get his ass kicked!--Prof. Moriarity
![]()
Maaa... A " Scooby Doo " villain is here to see you...--Doc Evil
![]()
Y'know, Jeffy... I'd tell this nutsack ta go to Hell...But that would be superfluous, wouldn't it?--Doc Evil
![]()
Hey mom... target practice!--Puddin' tame
![]()
Lady of the house? Bil! Sashay your sweet ass out here!--Camelio
![]()
Well Mommy, he says it'll cure Daddy's drinking, your hoplessness and Billy's sex addiction. Not to mention Jeffy's banana fixation and PJ's crack problem... No? Ok, I'll send him away.--Truant
![]()
I dunno... He doesn't look like he's got much meat on him.--Ratman
![]()
Says his name's Loman. Frankly, he doesn't look too good.--Bongbrain
![]()
Hey Mom the guy who is supposed to sweep up what's left of our pathetic empty lives and haul us off to hell is here.--Yakko
![]()
"For the TENTH time, Thel, we've TRIED that! Every time we pelt him with P.J.s excrement, he just sweeps it off! I think we may have to buy a greeting card this time"--halaq
![]()
He's either a performance artist or a white slaver, I can't tell which. --Colin
![]()
What's in the case? Marceles Wallace's soul, of course!--sigar
![]()
Mom! The executor of grandma's estate is here, and I'm thinking it may have been a waste of effort to kill her!--The 4-Star Pope
![]()
"Does he mean our biological mother, surrogate mother, or adoptive mother?"--Sgt. Spam
![]()
I dunno Mom...it sure looks like he's impaled on a broom, I wanna know how our credit card numbers will help...--Jim Smith
![]()
"I would later learn that, of course, my father was watching the entire scene, drawing it for publication in millions of newspapers. Hell I was two years old--how funny is it that half of my butt is sticking out, anyway?" --From It stands for Phillip Jonathan: The Other Side to PJ Keane--Jim Smith
![]()
Okay, he's just another pathetic weenie-wagger -- but you gotta give him points for the elaborate shadow-box presentation!--Jessica Steinhice
![]()
"Mommy...it's a guy named Mr. Belvedere...Do we need a droll, sarcastic English housekeeper?"--GenXCelt
![]()
But if he won't budge from the doorstep, how the hell am I supposed to get him into the cellar?--Anastasia
![]()
It's already been two hours. Well, I can hold out for as long as he does.--Anastasia
![]()
Daddy!... Daddy! ... Sorry sir, the head of the household is probably passed out at the foot of the bed.--Truant
![]()
Hey Dad! Uncle Roy's here! Which one? Uh...The Italian one, I think...--Doc Evil
![]()
As PJ marvelled at the never before seen cleaning products, both the salesman and Jeffy stood in polite yet unhappy silence as Dolly continued to sing then very best of Andrew Lloyd Webber...--DR. SCHMUCK
![]()
So, anyway, with the success of My Little Pony came several imitators, including Magic Ponies, Pretty Pegasus, and most notably Enchanted Fillies. The Enchanted Fillies were in many cases... oh, I almost forgot. MOMMY! Someone's at the door!--anon
![]()
Billy, tell mom, get the big pot ready! Tonight we eat Italian, if you know what I mean.--Hannibal Lecter
![]()
Hey, Mom, there's some dumpy loser at the door. ... No, it's not Daddy, he's still passed out in the driveway!--Schickelgruber
![]()
Dad, should we send John Waters right up to your room?!--still anon
![]()
Mom! Tony "the Sweeper" Frazettis here again! Dad seems to be behind on his gambling debts again!--Azazael
![]()
The serial murderer known as the Broom Killer had no idea that these sweet little children would inflict upon him tortures of such grotesque nightmare depravity as to outstrip by leagues his own sick fantasies.--not elsie
![]()
Mom, I told him that we don't need the broom but he's got a helluva deal on Astro-Glide and nipple clamps!--007
![]()
Whaddaya say? Think we can save Mom & Dad's marriage if we slip this guy's aphrodisiac into their drinks tonight?--anon
![]()
Inside the man's magical box, the children saw images of their future careers- Jeffy, an escape artist, Dolly a cheap Tinseltown whore, and PJ an accomplished plumber.--Tangent
![]()
A Fuller Brush salesman? Christ, Billy, what DID you set the Wabac Machine for?--Charlie Steinhice
![]()
Mommeeee! Our dealer is still in the joint for kicking Daddy's ass -- can we get some shoe polish to tide us over?--Vice Pope Doug
![]()
Hey Mommy -- wanna see what the daytime ratings wars have reduced Geraldo to doing?--Vice Pope Doug
![]()
Mom! Uncle Roy's doing the "wanna see my samples" gag again!--Ol' Doc Bear
![]()
Mom, did you order this Pagan Nativity Scene and this Witch's Training Broomstick?--nonentity
![]()
Hey! HEY! This guy's arms are longer than his legs! He has no neck! Could this mean...he's one of us?--Preacher/Judge
![]()
Hey, Billy! I forget...which of these cleaners gave you that great three-day high last month?--Rotter
![]()
Hey, Dad! Here's a guy with an even worse miserable, stinking, soul-sucker of a life than yours! Quick, get out here before he shoots himself!--Rotter
![]()
This is sooo cute Mom! Bring the camera; it's PJ's first "plumber butt".--Riff
![]()
Mommy! I forgot. Did you want the double headed one or the one that goes up and down an hums?--jethro
![]()
As Dolly and Jeffy discuss just how many "is that a broom or are you just happy to see me?" captions will appear in the DFC, PJ....seeing the trenchcoat...confuses the salesman for Uncle Roy and begins assuming the position--BigDog
![]()
Gee mom, your right, Amway guys really ARE persistent......try to get the broom right through his heart this time.--Scooby
![]()
Mom! Dad! He says he wants to see the lady of the house, and well........we're a bit confused on that point.--Scooby
![]()
Mom! He really does have a dark portal to hell --anon
![]()
Back to the DFC Archive index