DFC #17 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
After 30 minutes of staring directly at the sun using Grandma's reading glasses, Dolly's eyes appear to be nothing more than small black dots.--anon
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Maybe if I wear these big glasses, it'll distract from my swollen legs!--anon
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"With these rad shades n' hot pants, Dondi will be jumpin' my bones in a heartbeat!"--"Uncle" Al
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These sunglasses should cover up this hole in my head perfectly!--Amber Dowlin
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Well, yeah, I took them at the funeral... I didn't think grampa would need them six feet under...--The Unmasked Revenger
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"These glasses, a Pink Floyd double album, two hits of acid...I'm entertained!--Tim K.
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Are these the "Beer Goggles" Daddy is always talking about?--Craig
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Hey look!! With these magnifying glasses, I have breasts!!!--Rick Lohr
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"Cool! New tea-shades! Now I won't blow all of my pot money on Visine!"--Paul T. Riddell
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Hey Mr. Keane! Found your glasses! Now maybe you'll be able to see you only drew me one nostril, you blind old bat!--GM
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Why don't ya just tattoo "Dork" across my forehead?--anon
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With these glasses, I can be a turbo slut jes' like Madonna!--ZAZU
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He didn't seem to mind, but his seeing eye dog sure did!--ZAZU
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...an then I put these on and start screaming that someone's stolen my seeing eye dog. You should see people falling all over themselves being nice to me.--Blake
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"What's a hooter magnifying glass, Mr. Jacobs? This doesn't seem like much of a school project to me."--anon
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Then, after we were done tying up the teacher, we left her on the side of the road while we took a joy ride in the off-campus activity bus. We kept her sunglasses as souv'nirs, see mom?--MichaelG
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EW! I guess I shouldn't have sneezed into Daddy's new Ray-Bans. Oh, there's my other nostril!--siren
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She dresses me like a total goon, and can't accessorize for shit.--Roxanne LeReaux
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I know Daddy doesn't draw very well, but this is ridiculous. Did he put sunglasses on my shoulders or is this a really fucked-up brassiere?--anon
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Shit man, like these shades are totally fucking with me--Dave Browne
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Now remember, Billy, this is what you're gonna have to wear if you keep on doing that thing in the bathroom....--Pastor of Muppets
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Thirty years, and the only thing that ages is my eyes? I still got the boobs of a six-year old, and the ASS of I don't know what...!--Pastor of Muppets
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I'll bet if my ears weren't just painted on, these would work alot better.--Kyosuke
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"And with these steel Gucci breast frames Daddy'll REALLY be feelin' the pain tonight!"--anon
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At its current rate of growth, my head will be too big for these glasses by tomorrow afternoon! --GareBear
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Wow, Grandma's sunglasses sure flew far after I pushed her in front of that bus!--Steve Miller
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"Wuu-wee! Dolly is lookin' SEEEEXXX-EEEE!!"--anon
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Wow! So this is what it's like in the Witness Protection Program.--Ray Gaskill
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"I'll be the mommy, and Billy will be the daddy. Now Jeffy, you don't come in until Billy leaves."--&
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If we mail these with a finger and a note that says, "Next the eyes!" they'll pay more.--Nick Helms
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Yes, Daddy, these are the X-Ray Specs I ordered from that comic book. Now I wanna ask you something: does Frederick's really make French maid underwear in your size, or did you have those custom-made?--Andy Ihnatko
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Now, just how did Madonna fit these things in her last video?--Omega Wolf
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Gee, it says here, "Made in Singapore." Just the item to complete my "Asian Streetwalker" look.--anon
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In just a few more years, I'll actually have a nose big enough to hold these up!--Nato Welch
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