DFC #136 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
They're forgettin' to move the headstones! Haven't they seen Poltergeist?--anon
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Wait a minute here...has anyone else noticed just how much Dolly looks like Pac-Man?--Thomas Wilde
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Billy watched in sickened fascination as the finger moved in apparent slow motion from her nostril to her mouth. If there's a nail gun on this site, he thought, it's got her name on it.--Roy
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Gee, that house looks like PJ after Daddy got through with him.--HarryK
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We've burned down Bill Gates' house three times, and he's having it rebuilt again! He just doesn't get it!!--anon
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Idiot! Mom said "Ranch Style"! Not Continental! Now we'll NEVER get dinner!--Jason Whitmore
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I bet you can't walk on the top beam after chugging a six pack.--ed munster
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That Joanne Liebler is one fine piece of ass in a tool belt.--Zenmaster
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If Dolly knows so much about residential construction, Billy wondered, why'd she build this abomination with a five foot wide front door and no roof trusses?--Ron Denton
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Nah, some families get their homes built for them. Not everybody had to butcher the previous tenants and hide their body parts in the crawl space.--Bongbrain
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Yeah, that's Charles Schulz' new house all right. He builds a house twice as big as a competing cartoonist's right in his neighborhood, then makes a big show of torching it with a pile of hundreds. Man, he can be one sick fuck.--Rotter
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According to the Dolly Lama, the birth of a house is the source of endless suburban agony. Let's prevent some pain with this matchbook!--Ethelred
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Hey Look! Bob Vila fucked up again........didn't leave a space for the door!--DrDave
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See, all you have to do is lie on the forms and look really pathetic and Jimmy Carter will come to town and build you a house. --B
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Only Dad would need to build a liquor cabinet this big.--anon
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And that was just with one finger. So don't mess with my stuff, is that clear?--anon
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Hey, I thought you clicked on "no frames."--Charlie Steinhice
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Dolly stopped, her mouth hanging open. She had found it: Pyromaniac's Nirvana.--Thomas Wilde
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Silent Bob stole a schematic from some foolish carpenter and found a weakness just like the fuckin' Death Star. He figures here, you pull this crossbeam out, fuckin' bikity-bam! the whole place comes crashing down!--War Gerbil
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That's where that kid was playing, and fell and broke his .... his .... you know ... that thing that some people have between their head an' their shoulders!--Vice Pope Doug
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As Dolly prattled on about sheetrock, wiring and insulation, Billy realized yet again that not only was his sister a dyke, but an extremely boring one, at that.--Vice Pope Doug
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C'mon. Dad said he needed kindling.--Dead Parrot
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The sign of a true DFC'er: the Keane family lawn ornaments are placed out before construction on the house is finished.--The Outsider
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Gesundheit!--Greg J
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I saw Bil transfixed at the window. I couldn't figure out why, until I saw the construction worker drinking his Diet Coke...--Dave the (anally-retentive) Fave
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That's Schultz's new home. It's becoming a regular "Washed-up Cartoonist's Retirement Villa" around here...--Dave the Fave
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...and then I said 'Gimme a pack of Newports and all the money in the register' and the guy just stood there like...hold on a minute.."Look Billy, I can see the skeleton of that house"...sorry, had to pay the bills. Anyway he's just standing there...--VitaminTom
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So why didn't the Three Little Pigs just call the cops?--Anastasia
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Now we each pull one plank at a time. The first person to make it fall loses and has to go to school tomorrow wearing nothing but pudding and whipped cream.--Tazabby
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Qualitatively, the incidence of felonious activities only substantiates the current theory of suburbian revolt of the inner cities. By the way, did you remember to buy Krylon this time?--Blaine C
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That's the last time I light up on burrito night!--Riff
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Yes, but note the palladin windows, ionic columns and denture moulding details! It's definitely influenced turn of the century Gothic style tempered by a whimsical touch of I.M Pei with the pyramidal glass ceiling! By the way, pull my finger! --zazu
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C'mon, Billy! If we can arrange a few "accidents" around the work site, we'll ice that Vila schmuck and Sesame Street'll be on a half hour earlier!--Riff
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...and then Mrs. Clinton said we can triple our investment in just six months, TAX FREE! --Mad Mike
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When they found out we lived next door, they just stopped work and drove away.--Joe Blow
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It's amazing what you can do with used popsicle sticks! What did you make, a jewlery box?--Riff
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Say, have you ever played mumbletypeg with a nail gun? No? You're in for a real treat, o sibling of mine!--anonymous
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