DFC #287 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
While Bil usually hid behind the paper in the morning to avoid Thel's constant nagging, he had to be MUCH more creative during the dinner hours.--Wimpy
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It's Little Ceasers new topping : Pepperonni and Strange-One-Breasted-Melon-headed-Woman. Order today and get a FREE Pepsi! Pizza Pizza!--Little Ceaser
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This is the lamest 3-D sterogram I ever saw!--Treb
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Legal advice sought: I viewed this cartoon while hungry and broke a tooth trying to take a slice. Could I legally sue King Syndicates?--Thany (I'd sue Spinn, but I wouldn't get as much)
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After the big bang the universe was a random sea of unshaped chaos, but then their was the goddess Thel.--ChAoS
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"Comic Crossover Week" sunk to new lows as Thel Keane invaded the coupon supplement of your local newspaper to defend her new hairstyle.--Mr. Ben McClellan
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An interesting concept, but the Beatles decided to go with Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.--Namgubed the Merry Elf
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July 7, 1994 - As contract negotiations with Jeffy continue to stall, Bil tries some creative editing to remove Jeffy from every scene of the "Chicago Holiday" series.--bobo
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Fig. 18: From Bil's storyboard for Fantastic Voyage, Raquel Welch being absorbed by a white blood cell. -- Keane, the Hollywood Years--Galahad
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It's sad to think that somewhere, Thel's body is walking around with a slice of pizza for a head.--ChAoS
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An extra-large pizza and Mistress Thelma. Thank you, Santa!--alanon you mate
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"Pepsi Cola's Pizza Hut Theater Proudly Presents Thel in her one man show of "Give 'Em Hell, Harry!"--helen keller, sharing a Hallmark moment
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Wow, this panel has everything a geek desires. Junk food and a feisty Thel wearing only a studded collar. --Drool bucket
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Sorry, Thel, oral sex won't save you from ACNE-PAC-MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!--Kwang The Almighty
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As Thel chattered incessantly about his dirty room, Billy couldn't shake the haunting, yet strangely erotic, cross cut image of a mature human ovary that he had spied with a flashlight in a purloined edition of Our Bodies, Ourselves under his comforter one night.--Eat Yerself Fitter
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Bulimia -- This, the first in the abstract Dolly Keane "psychointestinal" series, elegantly illustrates two of the most profound influences on her young life.--Arby
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Sure, it's all fun and games, until some hungry homeless person sees this lying on the street and dies from the ink poisoning. Poor bastard.--jedi mind trip
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The family would bake over and over, ever hotter, yet still the burnt, angry body of Thel would claw her way out of the pizza.--Gecko Man
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Item No.10: an attractive serving plate, shown here with a serving suggestion. As the food is eaten, a warmhearted Keane family scene is revealed: Thel stripes Dolly's back with a lash, while a jolly Not Me, the real culprit, takes off with the cookies.--ysabella
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The Hangover, Day Six.--ferret
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Dammit, I told you not to let Bil have more than two tabs! We're lucky it's still circular!--Space Mutant
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Rolaids absorbs 45 percent more Thel than the leading brand!--agm
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If the other slice is hiding a picture of a pair of garden shears cutting a hot dog in half, this would more or less duplicate Jeffy's subconcious.--Rotter
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"Eat me!" Thel screamed inexplicably as Billy dreamt of pizza topped with sagging breasts and large, gaping orifices. Even in his sleep, Billy realized that the shrink was going to have a fucking field day with this one.--devvie
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Pop artists Andy Warhol and Roy Litchtenstein attempted just one collaboration, but the resulting Sliced Pizza and Shreiking Melonhead was so hideous it almost ended both careers.--Coalcracker
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From Wagner's Das Ring der Keaningen. This scene depicts the kidnaped Thelma, goddess of youth, being ransomed from the giant Jeffner. His price was enough pizza to cover her entirely; tragically, only the Sacred Pepperoni would fill the last chink--Marnen Laibow-Koser
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This cartoon marks the exact moment Bil Keane officially gave up on creativity and realized he would still be paid even if he only drew pictures of his lunch.--Waldo
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OK DFCers....which one would you rather eat?--Waldo
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Blast it, I specifically said "Hold the Thels." No tip today, mate.--soon
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Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding! Extra life! I've never made it to the Thel level before!--soon
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BIL!!!! Product placement means IN the cartoon, not ON it!--Gen. Sedgwick
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Poor Bil didn't understand why Thel was so angry. Hadn't she said "I hope you'll stay sober long enough to slip me the old sausage tonight"?--Gen. Sedgwick
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I'm leaving you, Bil. So long. It's been a slice! -- From Pun Fun with the DFC--Ratman
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For years after "the accident", Jeffy couldn't even look at a pizza without seeing his mom's face--shouting, angrily screaming at him, goading him on.--Larry Hastings
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USA Today page 3 figure 1: Angry moms consume one-eighth of all pepperoni pizzas, world-wide.--Larry Hastings
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See Thel. See Thel yell. See Thel yell at pizza. Yell, Thel, Yell. See Thel wash out on heroin. Wash, Thel, Wash.--Dan Jones
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Kids! Test your skills! Find the Thel in the pizza!--Meli O'Girl
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Findings Indicate Reality 90% Pizza, 10% Thel--puff daddy
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Bil sat back in his chair and reflected on the number of college students who would go insane trying to improve on his dark creation. Life was good.--Kurtz
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"Goddammit Billy! I was saving this rhino afterbirth for a special occasion!"--Bacon strip
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This take from the filming of Alien: Resurrection is the only one in which Winona Ryder successfully created a facial expression and delivered a line with emotion. Unfortunately, the shot had to be scrapped, due to the fact that a giant pizza got in the way.--Eek! the Fed
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"Okay, who let the dogs chew on my diaphragm?" (Note: diaphragm is actual size)--Dave Matthews
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Bil cleans off his camera lens, moments after discovering once again exactly why Barfy got his name.--Dave Matthews
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Yeah, not a bad use for the Family Circus. I usually use this part of the paper to train puppies, myself.--_Jester
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Little Billy left his pizza over what might have been the funniest cartoon ever.--Slick
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No caption, folks. Just the horrible realization that I'll NEVER eat pizza again.--Trevita
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"Bogus pizza, dude! You totally got burned on the no-anchovies front!" -- The DFC Goes Californian.--Dan Jones
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Further proof Thel used to be Olive Oil.--7 Years in Taco Bell
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That's one large pie, with sausage, pepperoni, a militant lesbian, and extra cheese.--Frod
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