DFC #275 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
"Mom! Tell P.J. to eat his own goddamn boogers!"--Dave Matthews
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Why's he cryin'? Maybe it's because you asswipes haven't changed his diaper since the Ford administration fer chrissakes!--Doc Evil
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When Jeffy saw the 60 Minutes crew come around the corner, he knew he'd been set up.--alanon
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He wants the cookie AND the rights to my phrase "Good on you mate!" Nothin' personal, but I gotta draw the line somewhere!--Mr. Ben (Mad about Rebecca!)
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Hey, is it my fault the little shit can't deal with life's harsh realities?--Riff
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....LINE!--Waldo
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Although PJ poured his heart into an over-the-top audition, it was Jeffy's coy, non-chalant stance that won him a coveted spot in the Vienna Boy's choir.--Tracy
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I scraped the oatmeal off his face, molded it into a cookie, an' now he wants it back!--Namgubed the Merry Elf
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"Where am I supposed to kick PJ again to get him to stop crying?"-- how cruel
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"No, mommy, I don't know why he's crying. But if he should suddenly learn to talk and tell you I kneed him in the balls, punched him in the stomach, and cross-checked him in the throat, he'll be totally lying"--xian, the most desperate Tampa Bay Lightning fan on the net
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It's not as if Tubboguts here needs yet another cookie.--Werehamster
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Hey! No fucking way you're pinning this on me, his feet were on backward when I got here!--anon
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Jeffy Keane, you put your brother's suppository back this instant!!!--Tangent
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Shut up ya little pansy, ya didn't see Holyfield piss and moan when he got HIS ear bit off!--Hannibal Cannibal
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Mom, I'll share anything else, but don't ask me to let him drool all over Mike Tyson's mouthpiece! I paid 25 grand for this thing!--garden weasel
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...quit your cryin or i'll kick you again you scene stealin little shit.....oh hi dad....nothin....just talkin to P.J. about pasghetti!--Waldo
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Awww, but mom, his Rigoletto sucks! He deserves a beating!--Dan Jones
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Hey, does a baby even really need a pineal gland? I mean, what for?--Space Mutant
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Suddenly it hit PJ, he to would inherit the family 'beer gut'.--Tyrant
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Mom! The whatchamacallit is making that noise thing again!--L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg
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I think he's about to crack Billy! Another dose of Tobasco, and he'll tell us what he did with our stash!--Rick Landis
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Jeffy thought that Mom or Dad would come rushing to PJ defense. He was somewhat surprised when Azoroth, Demon Lord of the Ninth Hell, came charging around the corner.---Jester
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Jeez, it's just Barfy splattered on the road...no big deal...the vultures'll eat well tonight, though....--Jenn Dolari
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While everyone was delighted that P.J. had finally spoken his first words, "Give me back my Zweibeck, Cock-gobbler!" was eventually deemed unfit for the baby book.--Jizmo the Wonder Horse
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No way! These suckers are potent! One little bite, an' he'll be gigglin' and trippin' and freakin' straight into next week!--Vice Pope Doug
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Oh my God, Jeffy thought. The Cookie Monster had managed to escape from...'The Street'.--VitaminTom
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Every time he and Jeffy sang "Mr. Bojangles"...he cried.--R.J.M.
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"You see? Once again the volatility of the middle class manifests itself in a bourgeois ouburst of emotion. As I eat the cookie of enlightened materialism, P.J's diapers are soiled with the -- aw hell, let's just go with a blowjob caption."--Jizmo the Wonder Horse
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AND CUT! Okay, three things. First, get that brat to stop crying. Second, get the white beard and wig back on. And third, GET RID OF THE DAMN COOKIE! -- Outtake from the film version of Michaelangelo's The Creation of Man--Coalcracker
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PJ can eat his own scabs!--Miss SAJ
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Yeah, he wanned some cookie, I tol' 'im to fuck off, he started actin' like a baby, so I fuckin' smacked 'im, you gotta problem wid dat? -- DAVID MAMET'S "FAMILY CIRCUS" (with John Malkovich as PJ, and Gary Sinise as Jeffy) --Large Neck
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I'm just chewing it for him: he's got no freaking teeth yet !! --Sue
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What's with the shmoo?--anon
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"Wow! The generic pepper spray is just as good as the name brand stuff!"--Bil's Drinkin' Buddy
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"Mommy, I know you hate it when PJ fills his diaper - but it's been four days and I think he's hungry."--Sloan Garrett
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When he didn't pay back the loan to Don Billy, he should have known something like this would happen.--Anastasia
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I ain't pullin' it until he learns to say it. It's the Keane way.--Gen. Sedgwick
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Of course I didn't hit him! I only pick on smaller kids, and PJ's got at least three inches on me in this panel.--phil
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Nice try. My official food taster says, "don't eat the cookie!"--Namgubed the Merry Elf
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