DFC #253 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
Dolly soon realized that "pass the tissues bitch" was the wrong form of address if Thel had a knife.--Meathead
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Now it's too much bleach, not enough coke! Gimme back my credit card, I'll do it myself.--The Brown Gouge
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Even th' radio hates " Mmm-Bop! " It just burst into flames!--Doc Evil
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Judging from what crashed through the living room window, I don't think the FBI recognizes our secession. NOW can we head for the bunker?--Gen. Sedgwick
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Why didn't someone tell me Ellen had a girlfriend??--Vice Pope Doug
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Dolly's cried when she found out the secret of Thel's impressive bust (as many men had before her). --The Librarian from hell
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OK, I'm done with it--hand me the box and I'll put it back. MAN is Daddy a cheap old git.--Kevin
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"One ain't enough, Thel -- Bil has the dress on and he's doing Aida again."--Randall
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Judging by how Dolly's head jerked back, and to the left, I'd say the gunman was crouching on the grassy knoll.--Magus
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Lamarck believed that Homo circus developed long limbs and necks because the larval form had to stretch to reach the tissues when the ephedrine kicked in--Moorlock
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Dolly, tearfully accepting that she'll never age, regresses and requests the prosthetic nipple, perched tauntingly on the counter she'll never be able to see the top of.--pony
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Double-ply, MY ASS! Those things barely soak up any blood at all! Oh, by the way, I think Jeffy needs a real tourniquet.--Coalcracker
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Christ, Mommy! These things are only slightly less abrasive than Jack Palance's face!--Mighty Owl
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Dolly's incredible strength allowed her to reorganize the house with the push of her finger.--Lee Harvey
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Dolly quickly learns that there is no easy answer when Thel asks, "Does this have enough tabasco?".--Westur the Unspeakable
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"Dolly's first pepper spray" - A new Family Circus commemorative plate - Available now from the Franklin Mint!--Westur the Unspeakable
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Am I crying because of the onions? No... Have you ever heard of Bean-O?--Schickelgruber
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Thel Thought: Melon=Noise . . . . Knife in Hand+Melon= No more Noise.--phonsux
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Damnit, Thel! I'm sorry I called you an ugly ass crack-whore, just please give me the tissues!--The Almight Afro
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Give me a tissue, and quick! These pants were white thirty seconds ago!--nonentity
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After Not-Me and Ida-Know quit the strip to take starring roles on Casper, the Keane children began blaming things on inanimate objects such as tissue boxes and socks. Needless to say, it wasn't as cute.--nonentity
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Pull my fing... Jesus Christ! Your neck must be like three feet long in this panel. Share some of that with your neck-challenged offspring.--nonentity
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"The syndicator r-renewed our fucking s-strip for TH-THREE MORE Y-YEARS!!!!"--Randall
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"Off, Damn Spoot!" - Lady CumBeth from the Dark Brothers new upscale porn film, "Cumbeth."--anon
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Is it just me, or does Thel look particularly... insectile tonight?--Shifter
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Could you hand me those, please? I just saw the most touching thing in the whole world; Bil, drunk as he was, actually tried to swerve and miss the doggy. Poor fella still didn't make it, but damned if Bil didn't try.--TBone's House O' Screamin' Weasels!!
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Thel pretended not to understand as the last inch and a half of Dolly's Xena figurine ground its way down the In-Sink-Er-Ator.--Reamer
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Daddy? Billy's dead... No, dammit, that won't do. Let's try again. Dad..dy? Billy.. had an accident....--Dragoon
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I know our cause is sacred, but the feds just tear-gassed the south wing, and PJ's clawin' his eyes out. Now hand me a fuckin' tissue.--Plastic Elvis Pants
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Okay, okay, get me those now, bitch, please! --anon
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Ok, what asshole switched the coke and the baking soda, Thel?--Wee Willie Wanker
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Once she controlled the Force, Dolly became a menace. At first, we thought it was a blessing, with her gaining the power to make Mom do housework for once, but when she finally uncovered her evil plot, she was too powerful to be stopped. Even bullets froze in midair before her with the slightest wave of her finger.--Riff
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