DFC #205 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
Stop! STOP!!! The term "drive-in window" is a figure of SPEECH, for Chrissakes!--Gen. Sedgwick
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Yo, pull the caddy up by the beemer, bitch, we got that Tupac muthatfuckah right where we want him. --A.Holter
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"Oh, if you wanna be my lover, ya gotta get with my friends..." c'mon, Grandma, sing, sing, damn you!--Camelio
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Little Old Lady from Pasenda, my ass! You're more like the Crazy Old Biddy from Encino.--Don Spudleone
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With a steely, intense stare, Gramma drove on, wishing she hadn't stopped that rabid Doberman from eating Bil's scrotum so many years ago...--Mighty Owl
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Having no eyeballs, Grandma depended upon her grandchildren to direct her as she drove.--Tazabby
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A Scene from "Pulp Fiction 2", with Gramma as The Big Black Kingpin Guy.--anon
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This is what the video for Alanis Morissette's "Ironic" looks like after just one bong hit. "Harmless"? Think again. -Partnership For a Drug-Free America--Sir Psycho Sexy
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Holy Shit, Gramma! Duck! You drove us right into th' middle of the Browser Wars!!--Vice Pope Doug
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It's Joe Piscopo! Floor it!--fizzy
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Well, the volkswagen was a wonderful invention, she thought, but this slug-a-bug game for bong hits is an affront to the memory of the third reich.--anon
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"Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to paint a landscape scene on the inside of Grandma's glasses," thought Jeffy...--Mr. Wise Guy
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On Bil's birthday, the kids and grandma would cruise the city, looking for just the right hooker to help him "celebrate."--otis
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The video for the remake "On The Road Again" by "Elton Bil and the Keane Kidz" was actually played on MTV. Once.--Vice Pope Doug
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The children--more annoying than he had imagined--threatened to sour Mr. Kissinger's elaborate transsexual fantasy.--marty gray
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Working on spec for O.J., the search for the real killers continues.--The 4-Star Pope
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It was obvious from the traffic accidents in our wake that even the simplest instructions were being ignored. Billy yanked off the bonnet/skullcap and threw it in the back seat so that he could tweak with the implants in the fleshy folds of the replicant Granma's exposed wetware. When we realized it was another failed attempt at 'Project Babysitter', Jeffy shit his pants.--spook
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We're NOT making this up! The earwig is almost past your collar!!!--Charlie Steinhice
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"No Gramma! You're supposed to push the F button to jump us over the roadblock! All the A button does is activate the Mach 5's relief tube, which you can't use!" - From the Keene Racer episode, "Gramma vs The Li'l Old Lady From Pasadena"--OM
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Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!--Mr. Splinky
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"The witness claims that she did not see the two cars behind her crash into each other, although she continued to blame the destruction on 'My idiot son's inability to draw perspective' - Accident report #21120, Lt. Richard Tracy reporting--Delsyn
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Look! Bil is on the corner in high heels again!--J. Wally Thompson
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While Billy and Jeffy created a diversion, Dolly was able to finally answer the "real or silicone" question once and for all.--Tehporp
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We'll never win this demolition derby if the two of you keep battling for psychic control of Grandma!--Sammy and Craig
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"Once again, Dolly blew the take by pointing in the wrong direction. Her continued presence proved you could fuck your way to the top in the cartoon business." - Jeff Keane, Memoirs--P.T. Swizzlestick
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Gramma's drunken weaving often left multiple head-on collisions in her wake, but SHE never wrecked, and the kids really seemed to enjoy it! --anon
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I got so sick of the little shitheads and their Speed jokes, I lost control of myself. The results were gruesome.--Grannny Keane, Confessions
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"NO BOOBS! NO BOOBS! NO BOOBS . . . . "--phonsux
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Travis Bickle, twenty years and a cross-dressing fetish later, snaps again. --Colin
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While Billy swears its the blinker, Dolly points out that its Grandma's Pacemaker making the ticking noise.--PoohBear
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Billy out first, back up, roll forward, ask Dolly what happened, back up, roll forward, get Jeffy to make sure they're okay, back up, roll forward, cry hysterically when the police come. It would be so easy thought grandma.--myke
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Billy wanted to go to McDonald's. Dolly wanted to go to Dairy Queen. Jeffy had to go to the bathroom. Too bad that Grandma just had a stroke and they were all going into the next telephone pole.--myke
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Look! There's shading over there! And Over there! This is amazing!--Slaanesh
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"As the spikes hidden in the roof slammed into Billy and Dolly's head, Gran'ma breathed a sigh of relief. Then she had a last fleeting revelation as the teeth sank into her neck Forgot... about... Jeffy..." Stephen King - The Keane Zone--Delsyn
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"There's one with a walker! 30 points!" "No, no, go for the one in the wheelchair. The wheelchair!"--Elvis
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Floor it you old bag! The Toys R Us store detective is on our tail!--Amish rake fight'n Joe
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