DFC #146 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
"Who ate Alaska and the Yukon?" "NOT ME!"--Mycroft
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Exactly where do we live? I can't find hell on this damn globe anywhere.--anon
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A planet where APES evolved from MEN?!?--Doc Evil
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Hey, Dad, no wonder you didn't get to fight in the war. Vietnam's not in Canada, silly!--Don Spudleone
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Well, it's either a message from Gaia to stop shitting on her, or Bil had another seizure while drawing South America.--Pastor of Muppets
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"...and in 48 hours, the virus will have completely eradicated all life on the planet. Questions, gentlemen?"--Vy Rothko
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No, Mr. Keene. I expect you to DIE--Blue Gargantua
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Mom, where did you put my copy of The Denton Affair?--Riff
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I will start with Czechoslovakia, then move on to Poland! But the difference is, I will NOT fight a war on TWO FRONTS! Bwa-ha-ha! --Bill Versteegen
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The virus has decimated the populations of Autralia and South America. At the rate it's spreading, we'll be dead in a week. So can I PLEASE stay up and watch the fucking Playboy Channel ONE FUCKING TIME?!!--senor ebola
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With his worst nightmare coming true, Jeffy curageously begins his Geography report wearing his pajamas.--Vitamin Tom
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After speaking the forbidden name of the demon's island, Jeffy found himself staring at his own butt.--Tazabby
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Step 5. After the loot has been packed into the crates, we split up and head for Argentina, which currently has no extradition treaty with the U.S. We'll be taking separate flights through various different countries. Billy, you'll arrive first...--Jessica Steinhice
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"I'll never forget the look on Jeffy's face just before I unloaded six bullets into him."--Billy Keane, "Autobiography"
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Jeffy makes sure no one's watching as he slyly slides his hand towards the virgin globe.--Bigus Dickus
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When Bil began to come at him with a drunken smile on his face, Jeffy's first reaction was to grab the globe and swing it as hard as he could at Bil's crotch. Unfortunately, Jeffy had forgotten that this was considered foreplay by his dad.--Tazabby
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If I scratch it will I be able to sniff the all-consuming rancor of planetary decay?--Kreemee
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With a flick of the wrist, Ms. Wood had snapped Jeffy's neck...For days she left him there in his grisly death pose, a warning to all who would dare reclaim their confiscated slingshots and yo-yos. --anon
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I can feel my spine popping! Good god, why daddy! Why!--Knuckle head
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I miss Earth (sniff)--anon
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It's a talent of mine. I point to the globe, and that's where your next cab driver will be from!--Riff
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According to my new theory, there is a whole other world outside this little circle. Of course, it's just a theory.--Riff
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Either that's one big globe, or I'm one tiny no-necked, pot-bellied mis-shapen freak.--Prune Danish
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Oh shit, this screws up everything. I guess a building will have to do.--Cheezo
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<Sniff> We're freaks Billy, freaks! I mean, even Mr. Globe has a neck. --Stefan Jones
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Ah yes, Amazonia, where I shall one day return to vex the giant crocodile that left my hand a swollen, mis-shapen stump! You're luggage, sucker!--Vice Pope Doug
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Dad.. can you show me where we get our ganga from again!!--whir
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No wonder this globe was cheap! They forgot western Canada!--Ken
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Heathens! God will surely punish you for your wicked "round world" blasphemies! --Tazabby
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Hey, Thel! You haven't "done" the whole world yet! You still got Madagascar and Easter Island to do!--Tazabby
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Yes boys and girls, your worst nightmare is true. I am God.--Anastasia
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So the equator goes through Texas now? Maybe there is something to global warming after all.--Big Poppa
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Just looking at this globe, not opening anything, never saw any bilbos or doll gags or Daddy's slimy, dog-eared June Collecter's Edition issue of Snatch Dripper, Private Dick.--not proud
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We've been through this before. I really don't give a flying fuck where Carmen Sandiego is.--The Lawyer
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No, really, if I press my finger somewhere, there'll be a report of a disaster there on the evening news....--Biff Stryker
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"Hmm... he drew the globe round, the panel is round... So why is my head shaped like a fucking cashew?"--otis
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Well, what country AREN'T we banned in?--Matt is a mama's boy.
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