DFC #231 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
And with this, Family Circus enters the exploding 80s, as Bil tackes such "bodacious" topics as "breakdancing", "Mr T" and "Manimal".--BretttMaverick
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Sometimes, just sometimes, Bil would get loaded, rub Jeffy really fast through his hair and use the static electricity to stick him to a wall.--juan valdez
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After three hours Jeffy began wondering if Bil was serious when he said that the floor needed to be held down.--R.J.M.
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Jeffy Keane: Bottom Feeder--Shifter
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Woo-hoo, nice one Dad! You're gonna win that dwarf-throwing contest on Saturday for sure!--alanon
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Genetic Disjunction, Plate 62: Dislocation of second nostril to abdominal region within extremely inbred family.--Dr. Bloquy
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"You know, I'd break my neck doing this, if I had a neck..."--Paul T. Riddell
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OK, now come over here and unzip my fly. I'll show those bastards how to shoot a Calvin Klein ad!--Schickelgruber
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I greased my hair with butter and ate a pot of beans. That should propel me straight into the kitchen!--Schmuck
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"The next time that stupid mouse comes running into his hole, I'll bite the living shit out of him!"--Lee Harvey
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"'Upside-down you're turnin' me'--God, I love Diana Ross."--anon
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Actually, since my hands don't reach beyond the top of my head, this technically isn't a handstand, but thanks for trying.--alanon
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Hey, when I look at my family like this, they're not fucked up, they're fucked DOWN! Get it! Haw haw! Ah shit, next time I'll stick with the damn hair gags.--Otis
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I figure twenty minutes a day for three weeks and my neck will compact to where I can scratch my scalp!--Gen. Sedgwick
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Enough empty rooms, I said. Make us furniture, I said. Me and my big mouth!!--Gen. Sedgwick
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Too distracted by the head rush to see clearly, Jeffy continued to giggle even as the bowling ball rolled inexorably on...--Steevie
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Jeffy unfortunately met a tragic end in a Tijuana bar when he piqued the curiosity of a very hopped-up William S. Burroughs.--tv's Spatch
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Hey! From here, it looks like Apple is going to be just fine!!--Vice Pope Doug
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Following the sack of Rome, Goths and Vandals rounded up the few remaining melon-headed race champions and stood them on their heads for fun. So ended an empire....----From After the Fall of The Roman Empire: Yet Another Book Report by Bil Keane
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(Video capture.) Jeffy was almost to the bottom before the awful realization hit him. We'd lied to him again. You couldn't dive into an empty swimming pool. From Smashing Pumpkins; My Life as a Melonhead by Billy "Billy" Keane.--Owell
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Want to guess whether Uncle Roy had something to do with this?--The Lawyer
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Infuriated by yet another Jeffy cartoon, the irate siblings glued his damned hypno-hair to the floor.--anon
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Loss...of...gravity and atmosphere!...must...acclimatize...must...reach...THEL 9000's...memory core before breaches in...suit pressure...kill me!--Jeffy C Clarke's 2001 a space oddity
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Like a turtle on its back, once a Melon-Headed Child gets stuck on his head, it's virtually impossible for him to right himself.--anon
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Are you sure this is how William Tell got his start? Hurry the apple is slipping!--R.J.M.
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Spent and somewhat satisfied from the experiment, Roy sets Jeffy down in the corner of the closet, lights a cigarette and contemplates the first time he, himself, was so petrified with pleasure.--Trevita
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Actually, this image is upside-down. This was when we nailed Jeffy to the ceiling through the room above.--Billy Keane on Larry King Live
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This should look familiar to any grocers in the audience. 'Cause it's a melon stand. ThankyewwwI'mhereallweek.--Capt. Ion
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Yeah, well, I'll be laughing at all of you when breakdancing does make a comeback!--Agent Todd
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I think I pumped up my Reeboks a little too much...--Agent Todd
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"Wow. Everything in the Red Asterisk looks funny this way!"--phonsux
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Desperate to improve his ratings, Bil resorted to various "theme weeks". The trip to DC had proven lackluster, but Bil was certain that "Upside-Down Week" would draw in the vital readership he craved. Sadly, it was not to be. Rise and Fall of the Third Ring--Blue Gargantua
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When cornered, the wily Jeffrey will turn a handstand and shoot caustic acid from his navel. Endangered Cartoon Characters--Blue Gargantua
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Dolly! I got it! It says "O.J. IS GUILTY" Who's stupid now?--Schmo
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Gesundheit!--Capt. Ion
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